What's New at KristianHoffman.com

Kristian Hoffman

  • 18 March 2010:


    First off, the response to "Fop" continues to be deliriously positive - even the rare tepid reviews glow with passages of over-the-top praise. So be sure to visit the recently updated Press Page for scads of recent articles and interviews, including when The Los Angeles Times asks Kristian what he would do "If I Ran The Oscars", and the L.A. Weekly asking Kristian for "Ten Rules For Being A Fop In L.A."!

    Thanks to executive producer Gary Stewart, Kristian was able to mount a very ambitious solo show at the Steve Allen Theater on 4 February called "Fop Formal", so named as Kristian performed almost the entirety of "Fop" in order with a full band, a string quartet, and five back-up singers as a choir. The quartet was conducted by long time friend and ace "Fop" string arranger Jeff Bruner, and Justin Tanner conducted and arranged the parts for the choir, which included Liberty Larsen (from the Magic Castle and Brookledge) the always gorgeous Kristi Callan, and members of Justin's theatrical repertory company Tad Coughenour and Michael Halpin.

    The opening set was a tribute of sorts to songs from Kristian's earlier catalog, with longtime cohort Carolyn Edwards singing Mumps' classic first single "Crocodile Tears", Kristi Callan singing "Just In Time", and Steve Moramarco, band leader of the fab Abe Lincoln Story providing a typically over-the-top rollicking version of Mumps' "Brain Massage"(Listen for the screams!).

    Todd Lowe, longtime actor in Justin Tanner's repertory and Justin's websoap "Avenue 43", and a "True Blood" regular, gave a rousing rendition of Mumps' "Just Look, Don't Touch". Liberty Larsen sang a slinky suggestive version of the Swinging Madisons' theme song "Madison Avenue", Ann Magnuson duetted with Justin Tanner on a lovely version of "Sex In Heaven", and Prince Poppycock brought down the house with his version of "Fatal Charm".

    Kristian Hoffman's band, the Rock Gods, welcomed the gorgeous Miiko Watanabe on bass - already a veteran from the sold out October M Bar "Fop" release party show - and a thrilling first time collaboration (hopefully beginning a long musical relationship!) with the magnificent blazing guitar stylings of Marcus Watkins, of Nina Hagen and Double Naught Spy Car fame.

    The show was over capacity with a line around the block, and extra seating had to be added. The warm audience was filled with wonderful talents and personalities like Adele Bertei, Lisa Jenio, Jonathan Lea, Darian Sahanaja, Steve Stanley, Ivy Rorschach, Rocky Schenck, and of course, Pat Loud herself.

    You can read a lovely (but somewhat inobservant - "Soothe Me" was NOT performed, more's the pity!) review by the wonderfully supportive Roy Trakin here.

    On other fronts, Kristian's remixes of "Soothe Me", produced and performed by Paolo Cilione and Claudio Camaione of Blow Up , are finished, and currently being mastered for an early summer release. The format being planned is a special limited edition 12" vinyl record, with three mixes: A short remix with piano overdubs, and a long remix with harpsichord overdubs, both of which include new vocal overdubs, inlcuding a brand new verse, by Prince Poppycock - and for the first time ever, the full length "Fop" album version which includes a previously unreleased lengthy instrumental jam and breakdown at the end. All three mixes will also be released digitally, of course!

    Justin Tanner also directed the FIFTH offical "Fop" music video, "I Can't Go There With You", with scenes filmed at Brookledge with Rob Zabrecky and Liberty Larsen, plus the gorgeous Carolyn Edwards and Kristi Callan as the back up singers. This joins the ever popular "Hey Little Jesus, Get Out Of That Hole" (the video that launched a thousand Facebook unfriendings!), the little seen and slightly more academic "Hey Little Jesus, Get Out Of That Hole (Book Version)", the gorgeous Sandra Powers directed, Timur Bekbosunov featuring "Out of the Habit", and the other Brookledge-centric, Rob Zabrecky starring, Jeremy Kasten directed video "Ready or Not". A new video of "Mediocre Dream", directed by Justin Tanner and starring the cast of "Avenue 43" is nearing completion.

    Earlier in the new year, Kristian music-directed Ann Magnuson's two sold out "Ann Does Bowie" shows (for which Kristian designed the Diamond Dogs flyer) at the Steve Allen, with special guest sar, raconteur and bon vivant Michael Des Barres taking over vocal chores on "All The Young Dudes" and Kristian singing one of Bowie's most beautiful songs from his Ken Pitt period, "In The Heat Of The Morning". Plans to take the show to Seattle and Portland this summer are currently underway.

    And if that weren't enough, Ann Magnuson and Kristan are going to be in San Francisco on March 31rst, co-headlining the hot cult TINGEL TANGEL CLUB: THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY party at Cafe Du Nord. Hope to see you there!

    Meanwhile, for more regular posts and updates, be sure to follow Kristian's Facebook Page !

  • 5 November 2010:

    Praise and Parties!!

    Now it's official: Both Magnet and Metal Jazz have called "Fop" a "Masterpiece"! So it's no wonder, at Kristian's SOLD OUT November 2nd Record Release Party at the glamorous Red Velvet and Chandelier M Bar in Hollywood, "The audience, needless to say, virtually levitated in rapture from their red-leatherette furnishings!" (-Metal Jazz)

    A fantastic time was had by all, with hostess Ann Magnuson keeping everyone rapturously engaged and showing the occasional leg to wild applause; the Brookledge Follies' own Miss Liberty Larsen opening the show with an unreleased brand new Hoffman original, "That Kind Of Lie", and the wildly gifted Timur Bekbosunov and his Dime Museum getting a foot stomping, howling, screaming standing ovation for his maniacal interpretation of the Hoffman classic "Total Eclipse", as well as singing two other Hoffman songs from Timur's new CD: "That's Something New" and his delightfully countrified take on "Lite of the World". You haven't really lived until you've heard the towering lanky velvet beclad Timur sing in the purest schoolgirl falsetto, "That's why I'd never be enticed to touch the God they call the Christ, but still maybe I might sleep with the guy who calls himself Jesus."

    During Kristian's set, guest singers Cody Chappell, Liberty Larsen, and KH's longtime BF, genius playwright Justin Tanner, formed a tight harmony Fifth Dimension-style choir for three songs; Kristi Callan (Wednesday Week, Cheap Chick, Dimebox) lent her gorgeous soprano to "I Can't Go There With You" as songwriter/pal Andrew Sandoval played his 12 string guitar, and Timur himself came back on stage to duet with Kristian on a version of the Nomi chestnut "After the Fall".

    Paolo "Blow Up" Cilione (currently working on a 12 inch remix of "Fop"'s "Soothe Me"), Carolyn Edwards, Donita Sparks, Crissy "White Trash Wins Lotto" Guerrero, Pinky "Guadaloop" Turzo, Slim "El Vez" Evans, Todd "True Blood" Lowe, Abby Travis, Brookledge director Jeremy Kasten, and Brookledge producer Erika Larsen, PLUS the saintly presence of EVERYONE'S favorite mom Pat Loud(!) - and many more local kooks including scads of stars of Justin Tanner's long running Web Soap,"Avenue 43", joined in the fan fun frenzy. The Rock Gods (David Bongiovanni, Joe Berardi, and comely newcomer Miiko Watanbe) muscled their way through the complex "Fop" compositions with ease and verve. The great spirits and (free food) were due in great part to "Fop" executive producer Gary Stewart. Thank you!

    Read more about Kristian's Record Release party and enjoy some more over-the-top reviews of "Fop" on Kristian's Press Page!

  • 18 October 2010:


    Read an incredibly exhaustive, and of course quite enlightening interview with Kristian by Songwriter's Monthly Journal, and exercise your penchant for bemusement at a negative review for "Fop" that oddly maintains that "Fop" is "Musically wonderful, but that is its downfall" on the Press Page!

  • 11 October 2010:


    Watch Kristian's latest video for his new CD "FOP"!

    The song is "Ready Or Not", and it is directed by Jeremy "Wizard of Gore" Kasten, who also just happens to be the director for "Brookledge Follies".

    Brookledge Follies is the spectacular private club where Kristian is musical director, featured in a recent front page ariticle in The Los Angeles Times.

    The video also stars Brookledge Follies' magical host Rob "Possum Dixon" Zabrecky as the "singer", and Rob gets to show off his most recent passion: Tap Dancing!

    So, as Kristian suggests on his Facebook Band Page, "On National Coming Out Day, Come out whether the world is "Ready Or Not" with Kristian's new video, "Ready Or Not"! Ejaculate your glorious technicolor self into the world by singing, "I'm Coming Now - Ready Or Not!" You know you'll be "Using Love just like a weapon!" Come, Now - with Kristian!"

    Also, be sure to keep spreading the word about Kristian's previous videos: "Hey Little Jesus, Get Out of That Hole!"directed by Steve Moramarco and starring John Quale (AKA Prince Poppycock) as Jesus, and "Out Of The Habit", dorected by Sandra Powers, and starring Timur Bekbosunov as "Lust". Holy Lust, Batman!

  • 3 October 2010:


    Read the latest over-the-top review for "Fop" on the Press Page !

    Also, Kristian's video for the "Fop" track "Hey Little Jesus, Get Out of That Hole!" already has over 1,000 hits on Youtube. Please keep reposting and invite your friends! Bible class was never THIS much fun! Directed (and catered!) by Steve Moramarco!

  • 30 September 2010:


    Please join Kristian in rare live performances, with VERY special guests, at his Bi-Coastal record release celebrations! Details on the Gigs Page !

    You can also check out the praise that is already flowing in for "FOP" Press Page!

  • 28 September 2010:


    Today is the actual "OFFICIAL" release date of Kristian's long-awaited fourth solo CD, "FOP".

    Praise is already anything but faint:

    Kurt Reighly (AKA DJ El Toro at KEXP, Seattle) says: "Kristian Hoffman's new LP "Fop" is blowing my mind. Exquisite. Think Nilsson on MDMA or Van Dyke Sparks! It takes my breath away."

    Debbie Schow, of KAOS radio in Seattle, says, "I love the CD, just can't decide which to play on the show first!"

    Howard Thompson, of North Fork Sound Radio and WKPN, has already made "Fop" his record of the week, and says, "Fop is fantastic!"

    If you are at a loss to figure out how to order your own copy of Kristian's new masterwork, please check out Barnes & Noble Here!, or Amazon.com Here!


    Meanwhile, we're hoping you will all pitch in and make Kristian's new "FOP"-related videos go viral! Please watch director Steve Moramarco's fantastically culinary "Hey Little Jesus" over and over again, and send the link to your friends! Prince Poppycock's turn as Jesus is aboslutely stunning! You can revisit the miracle HERE!

    And you can also see director Sandra Powers masterfully gorgeous take on Kristian's Bacharach inspired ballad "Out Of The Habit" Here! Sandra directed this lush extravaganza with the help and the character acting of Timur Bekbosunov ( who will be appearing at Kristian's Los Angeles record release party), and saved it as a special event to celebrate the "official" date of Fop's release.

  • 25 September 2010:

    FOP HAS COME!!!!

    First and foremost is the imminent arrival of FOP, Kristian's long awaited 4th solo album. It is already becoming the subject of rave reviews (Please see the Press Page), and is available for pre-order at Amazon, and Barnes & Noble.


    Kristian is planning two "Fop" record release parties (so far!): The first one will be in New York City at the Bowery Electric on Thursday, October 7. Kristian will be accompanied by legendary musical Director Joe "Loser's Lounge" McGinty and his amazing band. Jow McGinty will also play an opening set with his most recent combo, McGinty and White , a true songwriter's delight.

    Kristian will also be DJ'ing at the Bowery Electric on October 5th at a special CBGB's reunion party.

    The second record release party will be in Los Angeles on Tuesday (Election Day!) November 2nd at the glamourous M Bar, with Ann Magnuson hosting and Kristian's amazing new friend Timur Bekbosunov playing an opening set. Not QUITE coincidentally, Timur and the Dime Museum have just released an album with no less than five Kristian Hoffman compositions on it!


    Meanwhile, Kristian's adventures as musical director at the new Vaudeville/Magic Act night club sensation continue apace, as the club was just covered in an immense and extensive feature in the Los Angeles Times (starting a page A-1, Column 1 - the front page of the news Section!) with an extra large picture of Kristian! You can check that out Here!


    The first video from Kristian's new album, FOP, was released today: "Hey Little Jesus, Get Out Of That Hole" as directed by Steve Moramarco, also notorious for being the lead singer and punk/funk visonary of The Abe Lincoln Story .

    The film stars Kristian's good friend John Quale (AKA Prince Poppycock) as Jesus himself! You can witness the miracles HERE!


    For those of you who may have missed it, (although over a million and a half people apparently didn't) watch for Kristian's VERY high dudgeon as the master of the Piano Grande in Prince Poppycock's delicious "Bohemian Rhapsody" (at about 2:44) HERE!

  • 7 August 2010:

    OOOPS! Where were we?

    Soooooooo Sorry for the long time it’s taken us to get this website updated! There were many boring technical difficulties involved in re-invigorating this site, with webhosts and other arcane entities behaving in the most flighty manner. But also Kristian Hoffman felt little sense of urgency, because he really felt a time for the website to make a comeback full-force was when his new album “Fop” was completed.

    “Fop” too ran into many unpredictable snags on its way to completion. Even though all the recording was actually finished October 2008, it turned out the mixing and mastering would be a long and arduous process with files lost, and the usual crashing and burning of the supposedly more “modern” digital era. But Kristian’s long-time collaborator, Earle Mankey did a magnificent job of capturing his usual 4 dimensional Technicolor sound, and getting the hugely ambitious project manufacture-ready.

    Then when all was done, a label was secured: Kayo Stereophonic. Kayo wanted a lavish package, so Kristian set about designing a full color 28 age color booklet for the digipak cover. But Kayo’s release calendar imposed yet another pause before a window could be ascertained and a specific date for ‘Fop”’s release could be confirmed.

    But now “Fop” is ready in all its glory to be unveiled on September 28, 2010, and Kristian is planning a series of “Record Release Parties” to celebrate that.

    Already talk is underway with Joe McGinty, mastermind and musical director of NYC’s “Loser’s Lounge”, to engineer a fabulously “Fop-pish” evening in Manhattan in early October. Other release parties are being planned in Los Angeles and San Francisco, and possibly Austin.


    Which is not to say Kristian has been idle in all this downtime. Far from it.

    Brookledge Follies!

    Through the somewhat divine intervention of Rob “Possum Dixon” Zabrecky , who, since becoming Silverlake’s lone post-punk breakout rock star, chucked all of that to become a headlining Magician at Los Angeles’ legendary Magic Castle, Kristian was invited to be the house pianist and musical director at the Brookledge Follies and Spooktacular which is a monthly extravaganza of fabulous dancing girls, comedy routines, world famous magicians, and outlandish musicians.

    Set in a magnificent Hancock Park-adjacent 20’s mansion, in an auditorium built in the 30’s specifically as an intimate setting for legends like Orson Welles to perfect their legerdermain, and run buy the three generation cabal of gorgeous blonde bombshells, the Larsens, this was a private club where the shows became so legendary and the artists performing there so stellar that they had to expand into a new space – the current Magic Castle in Hollywood.

    But the original auditorium went dark for many years, until Erika Larsen, along with Rob Zabrecky and film director Jeremy Kasten decided to start producing these NEW Follies on the Brookledge Stage.

    The Brookledge Follies seems to be the completely logical and even more extravagant successor to the New Wave Vaudeville Show in NYC where Kristian was also the musical director and where he met Klaus Nomi and Ann Magnuson. Once settled into Brookledge, Kristian quickly conscripted Ann, his dear friend Abby Travis, Prince Poppycock, True Blood’s Todd Lowe, and newfound collaborator Timur Bekbosunov to become part of the eccentric musical fabric of this crazed monthly variety act spectacular.

    So far the project is ongoing, and the shows ever more packed. Kristian, vamping on the parlour grand throughout the evening, provides the introductory theme music, incidental music, and accompaniment to Rob Zabrecky and other Magicians, and has also provided twinkle-fingered accompaniment for Liberty Larsen as she sang various 30’s classics, and Ian “You Turn me On “Whitcomb , as Ian ransacked his encyclopediac knowledge of turn-of-the-century ditties and dipsomaniac originals.

    Kristian also completed 3 videos to promote the upcoming album FOP, to be posted on the net as the release date nears. “Out of The Habit” was directed by Sandra Powers and stars Kristian's friend Timur as "Lust", “Hey Little Jesus” was directed by Steve Moramarco and stars Kristian's friend Prince Poppycock as Jesus(!), And “Ready or Not” was directed by Jeremy Kasten in the theater at Brookledge itself, and stars Rob Zabrecky as...well...Kristian!

    Prince Poppycock!

    During this time Kristian also began working on studio recordings with sudden and deserving "America's Got Talent" sensation, Prince Poppycock, giving some compositional input into Poppycock’s theme song “I Pop For Poppycock”; helping Poppycock record two Hoffman originals from the Mumps era “Fatal Charm” and “I Like To Be Clean”; and also helping to arrange and record a heretofore unrecorded Hoffman original, “Miracle”.

    The utterly fantabulous Poppycock has played “I Like To be Clean” and “Fatal Charm” to live audiences across the country, and debuted “Miracle” at Brookledge.

    Timur Bekbosunov

    Kristian was introduced to Timur at a Klaus Nomi tribute (where else?) and since then Kristian and Timur have quickly become fast friends and collaborators, even appearing in a very brief audition on “America’s Got Talent” (incredible coincidence that both opera singers Kristian is currently working with were on that bizarre show!) where Timur sang Kristian’s song “Total Eclipse” to the utter befuddlement of the panel of judges, with the exception of Sharon Osbourne who gave some encouragement.

    But Timur and his amazing backing band the Dime Museum were not fazed in the least, thinking of it more as a lark into America’s cookie-cutter corporate underbelly than a competition, and making fun of the experience in a rapturously received standing ovation performance of the same song and others in Timur’s catalog as part of the award winning ALOUD Series. The band quickly set about recording a full album of material to be called “Timur and the Dime Museum: The Collection" , with five Kristian Hoffman originals included in the roster. Timur covered two new Hoffman songs, “That’s Something New” and “Anarchy of Love”, as well as recording his interpretation of “Total Eclipse”, and a cover of “Lite of the World” from Hoffman’s solo CD "Earthquake Weather" , and “What I meant To Say”, from Hoffman’s earliest solo CD, “I Don’t Love My Guru Anymore”.


    Kristian also returned once more to Spain with his longtime friend, and fellow Luxuriamusic DJ and musical collaborator Andrew Sandoval (who plays and sings all over the “Fop” recordings) where their first tour in support of Andrew’s Hanky Panky release "The Best of Andrew", had been so successful three years earlier.

    Kristian provided a piano counterpoint to Andrew’s “Unplugged” acoustic guitar versions of his many lilting, emotive originals as they opened for the Honeybus' original member and cult figure in his own right Colin Hare in destinations like Bilbao, Zargosa and Madrid.

    Hanky Panky’s co-founder and host extraordinaire Ińaki Orbezua made Andrew, Kristian and Colin feel most at home as he shepherded them through the many delights that Spain had to offer (like 500 year-old fishing villages and other landmarks), and a rousing closing night party with an encore during which all the band members of both bands and the entire audience sang an energetic (and somehwhat drunken)version of the Honeybus classic“ I Can't Let Maggie Go”. Ths rousing capper had the audience handwaving and swooning. Even the fact that people are allowed to smoke indoors in that savage country, and that by the end of the evening the dance floor was a literal field of cigarette butts, could not contain the exultation.

    Andrew DJ’d a dance party afterward, playing scads of his favorite obscure sixties 45s that he'd brought from California, most with surprisingly hefty fuzzbass arrangements making the revelers jump and shout. These 45s (and perhaps some free Scotch) inspired Kristian, with typical gender-leaping aplomb, to somehow persuade every (VERY straight!) member of Colin’s band to "dance" with him (i.e.leap about abstractly, but intimately), although there were quite a few latenight blackmail pictures of Kristian writhing on the floor in positons that wouldn’t be called “dancing” in polite society, unless you were referring to some neanderthal snake-worship ritual.

    So all and all, between mastering, mixing and designing his latest album; forging new musical relationships with Timur, Prince Poppycock, Rob Zabrecky, Sandra Powers, Jeremy Kasten,Irene, Liberty, and Erika Larsen and the Magic Castle, making three music videos, doing sound design and program logos for two of Justin Tanner's plays -Voice Lessons", and "Procreation", continuing his weekly Luxurimusic Radio show "Pepperland Spicerack", and completing a fantastic tour with longtime friend Andrew, it's been a busy year! But the September 28 release of "FOP" promises to make Kristian even busier!

    Please join Kristian's fledgling Facebook "Band" page here!

  • 1 January 2009:

    Happy New Year!

    Just a brief New Year's note to let everyone know that not only has Kristian completely finished recording his new 17 song album, "FOP" (it is in the final mixing stages, in the capable hands of long time Kristian Kollaborator, Earle Mankey) but he has also begun recording several songs for a yet-to-be-named project with gorgeous and gifted glorious songbird Debby Boone! 2009 promises to be a very MUSICAL year!

  • 14 June 2008:


    As you may have guessed, doing a Magnum Opus on the level of Kristian's new CD Album "Fop" is time comsuming and filled with unexpected delays. But things are still on track as recording continues, despite Kristian's many recent gigs with El Vez (Bloomington! Monterey! Seattle!), Abby Travis (Knoxville! Atlanta! L.A. Gay Pride!) and Steve Moramarco's ever luvin' Abe Lincoln Story (All over the Los Angeles Smog Basin: Live on KXLU, Spaceland, Downtown L.A. Artwalk, MR. T's Bowl!) and even La Diva Extraordinaire Ann Magnuson at the LACE Black Tie benefit (with the fantastic Phranc!)

    This week, Kristian will be recording the fantastically complex and imaginative string arrangements of Jeff Bruner, composer of many soundtracks and commercials, and not least importantly, a Santa Barbara High School Alumnus and former member of Grant Loud's amazing swing band Cocktail (along with Mumps' first guitarist, genius David Collert).

    Jeff has written arrangements for the re-imaginings of two Swinging Madison's favorite crowd pleasers: "Hey Little Jesus (Get Out Of That Hole) " a song which netted the Swinging Madisons TWO (count 'em) live appearances at CBGBs on the 700 Club as (and we proudly quote) "The Devil's Music", and "Mediocre Dream" - a song the title of which still rings painfully true after all these years.

    The arrangements will be performed by an all girl quartet led by the illustrious and redoubtable Emily Wright, and the contrabass will be bowed by Kristian's regular RAWK bass player, one Mr. William Bongiovanni, who has since become a member of the Pasadena Symphony!

    Kristian is also looking forward to vocal sessions with Andrew Sandoval, and a flute session with Candypant's own amazing Lisa Jenio.


    If you care to check out Kristian's Mailing List Page, you will find that a criminal oversight has FINALLY been corrected!

    You will now be linked directly to Kristian's Official MySpace Page, where you can write directly to Kristian, and check on his most recent blogs, etc.

    Lengthy Diary entries will still be posted here on the Official Site, but brief observations of whim and fancy will most likely be posted on the MySpace page.

    You can also link directly from the MySpace pageto many of Kristian's friends, AND you can link directly to iTunes and CDBaby to buy ALL of Kristian's Music!!!

    Also, be sure to visit Mumps Official MySpace Page, where new pictures are constantly being posted, and news of future re-issues will be posted as it comes in, AND where you can link directly to iTunes or CDBaby to buy all of the Mumps' fantastic canon.


    On April 28, Queer Music Heritage expert broadcast an interview with Kristian from his home base of KPFT 90.1 FM in Houston Texas. I know, I know - who knew that the declared home state of the most evil man in the woprld would also be host to an archive of such, um... Liberal?...thenthibility!

    But J.D. Doyle is nothing if not an expert and a completist, so he not only hosted the most extensive (and well researched!) Kristian Hoffman radio interview ever, but he also archived it Here! - so you can revisit it at will, in audio or text format, and you can browse around his site and find interviews with all sorts of other fantastic notables, like Kristian's long time friend and inspiration Phranc Folksinger.


    Kristian has been doing his show consisting mostly of lite psych, twee psych, orchestrated psych, nerd psych, corporate psych and peculiar psych circa 1966 - 72 for almost TWO YEARS now!

    It's called Pepperland Spicerack, and is broadcast (live!) weekly on streaming station LUXURIAMUSIC.COM every Sunday from noon until 2:00 P.M. PST, touring commitments allowing.

    You can check out Kristian's DJ profile here!

    Every week, you can hear Kristian fumble with mixers and faders and occasionally start playing the wrong side of scratchy 45s from his extensive if unkempt collection. This show allows kristian to indulge his fondness for groups like The Geranium Pond, the Blossom Toes, and the Almond Lettuce, to say nothing of the immortal Templeton Twins.

    "A day without the Templeton Twins is like chaparral without arson!" quoth KH - but he's really only joking, firebugs!

    Luxuriamusic boasts a wonderful array of record-obsessed DJs , several of whom are Kristian's close friends: Andrew Sandoval; Steve Stanley from The Now People; Howie Pyro from Kristian's CBGB mates The Blessed, and later Danzig and D-Generation - and so many more!

    The basic format on the default virtual jukebox is loungecore/novelty/tropicalia, but when a live DJ is playing you can expect to hear crazy music that will have you scratching your head and going "Whaaaaa" even as your mind leaves your body to float away on an aural bed of technicolor ether!

    So Listen up, kids!

    Keep up with all the Luxuriamusic news and special events on their Official MySpace Page!

  • 5 March 2008:


    Kristian has been busy in the studio all through January and February. After doing the basic tracks for his new 17(!) song album, an opus to be called simply "FOP", at Earle Mankey's fantastic studio, he has moved into the Hollywood studio of long time musical cohort, pro-tools expert, current official Bangle and all around rock muse, Abby Travis, to track the scrillions of overdubs for what he proudly promises to be, in a jubilant tone that implies no irony or winking and nudging, "my most pompous bombastic overproduced record ever!"

    Abby is the engineer and magic worker, making everything happen with yet another of her shockingly proficient skills.

    Dave Bongionvanni has been a regular on white hot Glam Ronson-esque guitar stylings, and banjo! Other stellar studio guests so far have included the golden voiced and flaxen haired Kristi Callan, and the outstanding and lovely songwriter Carolyn Edwards on all sorts of crazy backing vocals, and session man and pop maestro extraordinaire Probyn Gregory on trumpet, trombone, French Horn and, er, banjo! Probyn is not only a current member of The Brian Wilson Band, the Wondermints, and The Now People, but also plays with all sorts of kooks from the Mello Cads to um....well, Kristian!

    A trip to NYC to have MAJOR orchestrations DRIPPING with pretension is in the planning stages, with logistical help already secured from the unbelievably gifted founder of the notorious Loser's Lounge, Joe McGinty, Kristian's recent cocktail hour guest in Los Angeles.


    Kristian is also extensively quoted in the new Velvet Hammer Burlesque hardvover volume, filled with scads of fantastic gorgeous pix of the VHB's most luscious ladies. Warning! Kristian had NEITHER photo approval NOR quote approval - the entire volume was all edited together by inscrutable publishers of German extraction. So although Kristian beams with pride at his long term association with this heady cultural institution, please don't blame him for the facts that:

    A. This book contains one of the most unflattering, dour and wrinkly pictures of Kristian EVER! And...

    B. The quotes were taken from Kristian's diaries, which had oodles of fabulously gossipy tell-all remarks about the VHB cast and crew. But the German editors saw fit to include at least one lengthy quotation that has absolutely NOTHING to do with VHB! Wah?

    Well, obviously - you're not supposed to actually READ this picture book! Just ogle and slaver as God intended! So please, order it today!


    Also, Kristian's long-time classic composition, "Scarecrow", which is his fan-favorite duet with Rufus Wainwright, has been earmarked to be featured in the new coming-of-age movie "Tru Loved" by award winning director Stewart Wade. Further music is provided by pop maestro Rick Jensen of "Jensen Bell" who brought Kristian into the project, and wrote the catchy theme song for the film.


    Kristian has long been intimidated by his own inability to stem his own exhausting verbosity. Thus he has approached adding new "Picks" to his "Picks" page with trepidation - a spasm of listening pleasure suddenly feels like a deadline for a soul numbing term paper!
    So to save you the irksome skimming, and to save him the hunt and peck typing marathon, he's simply posting a slew of recent acquisitions that he loves - and hopes you will too!
    For your impulse shopping pleasure, Visit KH's Picks Page today!

    LASTLY: Just because this main website is NOT updated everyday, doesn't mean that there aren't crazy activities happening in Kristian's life! Think of this as Kristian's corporate headquarters, where everything will sooner or later be documented in the massive archives, and you can do your "Kristian based research" to your hearts content! But for daily injections of Kristiana Arcana, be sure to keep up with Kristian's regularly posted rants and raves, foibles and misadventures, and contact him personally on HIS Official MySpace Page.

  • 15 December 2007:

    He Knows If You've Been Bad or Good!
    Photo By Rocky Schenck

    "Sometimes we're slow" Department - we never posted it at the time, but in an interview with ReGen Magazine in November 2006, Kristian's long time collaborator Abby Travis sang Kristian's praises in no uncertain terms, and we've FINALLY put up a link to the article on the Press Page. So scroll on down, and read all about it!

    Speaking of reading all about it, you can enjoy the myriad comments and delightful controversy inspired by Kristian's many recent mini-blog entries (three this week!) on the Blog page of his Official MySpace Page.

    While you're there, you can enjoy a seasonal posting of the 4-track demo of his Xmas Perennial song "Christmas Time Is Coming (So Get Out Of The Way)".

    You can also simply visit our own vintage Official Kristian Hoffman Website Christmas Page (Circa 2004) with an EXTRA X-mas Travesty of a song by simply clicking Here!

    PLUS: See a fun EVEN EARLIER period Xmas Card from the Mumps, and several newly posted photos and flyers, plus new fan comments, on Mumps Official Myspace Page !

  • 1 December 2007:

    It's official! Kristian is in the studio recording his NEW solo CD!
    Four basic tracks for the EIGHTEEN TRACK CD have already been completed with Dan Joeright of the Rentals on drums, plus Kristian's stalwart Rock Gods, David and William Bongiovanni.
    This week Kristian goes back to Earle Mankey's fabulous studio to lay down six more tracks with regular rock God Drummer (and Non Credo auteur/artiste) Mr. Joseph Berardi.

    PLUS: Kristian's legendary CBGBs era punk pop band, MUMPS, are now official members of MYSPACE, with loads of photos, a bio, gaggles of new friends, easy access to various Mumps, and a super easy iTunes link to purchase individual songs! Please visit Mumps Official Myspace Page everyday!

    Or you can just press the iTunes button directly below, and go shopping now!

    Mumps - Fatal Charm..

  • 11 October 2007:

    Media Blitz! After a frantic week playing gigs with Abe Lincoln Story, Abby Travis, and Ann Magnuson, we found out that the Ann Magnuson/Kristian Hoffman gig in Santa Barbara Ocober 4th had been documented in no less than three separate articles (and two picks!) ! Check them out on the Press Page.

  • 22 September 2007:


    Before Klaus got signed to RCA France, the frenetically enthusiastic Ron Johnson, Klaus’ original manager and champion, somehow secured studio time in hopes that some high quality demos might stir up some label interest in the “act”.

    The original demos were supposedly lost, or in Page Wood’s safe along with that Faustian contract with the bloody X where his signature should be, but a fan sent a link to this video, and the soundtrack to the video is NOT the studio version of the song, but rather the original demo in all it's primitive glory, - although, oddly enough, it was edited to make it LONGER (in true period disco crossover form) with all the finesse of a buzz saw.

    Amusingly, this time capsule of a video is replete with a typically 80's Nagel type model doing her incongruous breeder eye-candy thing, while chewing lasciviously on some Venetian blinds in total budget Durannie fashion. However, Klaus is already fully realized as his polished glam persona and a delight to watch.

    The demo is interesting because Kristian plays guitar (and keys) on the demo. It is thus a rare document of the original line-up of the band. The band started as a three peice: Kristian would stand behind the RMI electric piano he bought from Orchestra Luna (because it was just like Ron Mael’s keyboard!) playing guitar on the verses, and then just switch to keyboard for the choruses and intros.

    Kristian says, “You can hear me trying my best to apply guitar-playing lessons learned in my recent stints as No Wave sideman of record. I had been in the Contortions for a while. I knew from that experience to write the bass line as the skeleton on which you hung the clothes of the arrangement. James Chance also wrote out my Contortions guitar parts on sheet music paper with X’s, like a snare. There were no notes. I was just supposed to hit the guitar in rhythmic patterns. At the time I also was usually back stage at all the Teenage Jesus shows, ‘tuning’ Lydia's guitar, so I co-opted some of her assaultive naif style as well. I also got to play with them once! I hoped the fact that these No Wave luminaries didn't ever use actual chords might trickle down to change the fact I couldn't actually play guitar from a liability into a.....Oh well, it was still a liability! But I wasn't quite as ashamed anymore! Just listen to my patently brazen ‘dying cat meow’ whining thoughout the song!”

    Kristian continues: “ My brother was actually in NYC at the time, and visited me in the studio. He is a skilled musician, and offered to play the guitar 'right' for me - but I was a legitimate No Wave auteur/deluded victim, and huffily refused the offer."

    "What fascinated me later about the studio version ( which was made when I had been summarily banished from the studio in that Klaus Nomi "tweener" period, before they came crawling back to me as directed by RCA to ask for more original material), was that their "real" New Jersey bar band guitar player actually copied MY solo - note for misbegotten note! I mean - couldn't someone who could actually 'play" come up with something a little better? I guess not! Of course, he foolishly left out one of my favorite tricks, which was playing the strings up by the pegs on the wrong side of that little metal bar. But other than that, he slavishly copied my every inept and unintentional move!”

    “Not so lucky was my "good-tymey" barrel house piano styling in the bridges - that was cut from THEIR version. I bet they were afraid someone might mistakenly think Klaus was CAMPY or something! Thank God they prevented THAT misconception from happening by sticking to their Huey Lewis roots! But in this demo version, you can hear that music hall piano in all it's "When I'm 64" glory!”

    The probable line-up for this demo was Joe Katz, of the Student Teachers, Swinging Madisons and late period Mumps on bass - Page Wood on drums, with Joey Arias and Tony from Strange Party on backing vocals. George Eliot from Come On probably added the one riff that took conventional guitar-playing skill: - the little semi muted guitar runs at the end of each phrase.

    All the other guitar and keys are by Kristian.

    Also peculiar to this video are the original intro, taken from a Marlene Dietrich recording, and the punk-adjacent “Deutschland” outro, tastefully omitted from the studio version. Mein Kampf? Well, not exactly - My Camp is closer to it!

    Check out the Demo/Video HERE!

  • 19 September 2007:


    In 1977-78, despite complete lack of experience and, in some cases, talent or aptitude, a bunch of neophyte young director wannabes, including Eric Mitchell, James Nares, Patti Astor, Tina L’Hotsky, and eventually Swedish transplant Anders Grafstrom, decided to do for film what punk had done for music: do it yourself!

    The ensuing cinematic “product” was wildly variable and often boring, opaque and indifferent. But as a time capsule of the most colorful characters to be seen at almost any hour of the day wandering the sidewalks of the East Village in varying states of inebriation, usually on their way to some rehearsal or new club in some church basement, these films are remarkable historical documents.

    Anders Grafstrom, who came late to the collective, is the one filmaker who would most likely have made a lasting mark in real cinema. He actually cared about focus, audible dialog, and dramatic flow - which seemed pretty unimportant to his somewhat “punkier” compatriots. Unfortunately he died tragically in a car accident soon after The Long Island Four was completed. So it’s best to think of it as his audition “reel” - it fails on many levels, but mostly due to the constrictions of the super 8 medium, time, and money. Obviously, if he had lived longer, Anders would have learned to tighten the editing and keep the audience a little more engaged. But the film still manages a strange beauty, outrage, humor, and even poignance.

    And the cast is unbelievable!

    Klaus Nomi
    Bradly Field from Teenage Jesus and The Jerks (Kristian’s BF at the time)
    Lance Loud
    East village superstar Patti "Wild Style" Astor
    Genius artist David McDermott
    La Ann Magnuson!
    Tina L'Hotsky (queen of the Mudd Club and filmmaker herself!)
    Joey Arias (Klaus' muse, best friend, dancer, also leader of Strange Party, and now ringmaster at a Las Vegas Cirque show!)
    Gedde Watanabe (who actually went on to have a "real" career in film - what an escape artist!)
    Steven Kramer (genius artist, longtime friend, member of the Contortions in my configuration, and leader of the legendary Wallets)
    and many more!!!

    Howie Pyro prvides the link to this fairly apt encapsulization from the Shocking Video website :

    "THE LONG ISLAND FOUR (79) Four exceedingly fey Nazi
    spies (one is played by Lance Loud of TV's An American
    Family, for crying out loud!) land in New York City in
    1942. They originally intend to plant bombs and
    disrupt national morale, but quickly lose interest and
    become submerged in the city's hedonistic nightlife.
    This Super 8 underground feature boasts elaborate
    costuming, art direction and vintage music soundtrack,
    but the real reason to grab this up is for KLAUS NOMI!
    Yes friends, the New Wave Kabuki opera singer from
    outer space plays a supporting role as a German
    counteragent! He sings the Marlene Dietrich standard
    "Falling In Love Again" once in tuxedo and then in
    drag! The rest of the cast and crew are comprised of
    many familiar names from New York's "No Wave"
    performance art gang of the period, such as Ann
    Magnuson, Kristian Hoffman, Patti Astor, and many more.
    An absolute must-have for fans and followers of this
    phase of American pop culture!"

    And - you can actually buy a copy - if you dare! Here is the link:


  • 18 September 2007:

    After much hair pulling, fingernail biting, brow furrowing, and basic garden variety lazy avoidance, Kristian has finally whipped up a mammoth re-entry into the diary entry sweepstakes. No - it's not complete! But --- it's long! And getting longer! That counts for something - at least in an Extenze commercial. Check out the ramblings on the diaries page.

  • 14 May 2007:

    Kristian is on his way to NYC and to Spain, and isn't really doing a single gosh darn thing to make this site more entertaining! However, lovely artist and minimalist Vivianne Viveur has charitably stepped into the breech, donating a diary entry of her experiences at the fabulous Klaus Nomi tribute in Parma Italy! Thanks, Vivianne! Check it out in the diaries page.

  • 7 May 2007:

    Loads of upcoming gigs! Kristian plays keys with Abe Lincoln Story at their record release party, and is (briefly!) featured in their hilarious new video "I Don't Need A Bag", then it's off to NYC for a special appearance playing keys with Ann Magnuson at Joe's Pub, and after that a brief tour of SPAIN - yes, you heard that right! - playing keys for the ever lovely and evocative Andrew! Details on the .

    Kristian is also busy making demos for his own NEW CD! Finally! To be recorded this year for release in early 2008. Also, expect a Kristian Hoffman and the Rock Gods performance at this year's IPO festival.

    Incidents keep piling up so fast - Ann Magnuson's two sold out shows at the Steve Allen Theater, Abby Travis best most rocktacular performance ever at the fantastic pipe dream of Baroque gilded opulence that is L.A.'s new club Bordello (Jane Wiedlin jumped on the stage and sang "Cry Me A River" - beat that!) that there's been little time for diary writing. But expect some rushed updates soon!

    Meanwhile, don't forget to buy your Ann Magnuson CD TODAY!

  • 20 April 2007:

    Kristian Hoffman downloads are easier to buy than ever, now that you can get them directly from his Kristian Hoffman Myspace Page. Buy some today!

  • 19 April 2007:

    Klaus Nomi Tribute (Click for details) in Italy - you should all go! They're going to be showing The Nomi Song and having a big Klaus Nomi dance party afterwards, and there will be an exhhibit of Klaus-related memoriabilia. But the best part of it is that they made an open call for submissions by various artists and fans for covers and remixes of Klaus Nomi songs, which you won't actually have to travel to Italy to enjoy. The call has resulted in amazing stuff like this wildly original version of Kristian's seminal composition "Total Eclipse" that sounds like a DNA recombination of the genes of Leonard Cohen, Nick Cave, and Nico, by Austrian aesthete and songster Christian Rainer! Just click on his name and listen. Nomi lives!

  • 16 April 2007:

    News Flash! Ann Magnuson show at the Steve Allen Theater a smashing success. Sold out both nights and they had to add two extra rows of seats for the Saturday show! Amazing. Also worthy of note is that the Steve Allen Theater is appropriately headquarters for agencies, boards, committes and spokesmodels for:
    A. Atheists!
    B. Pagans!
    C. Metaphysical Debunkers!
    Home at last! They've got the magic!

    Meanwhile - MUMPS finally make it to England - sort of! Check out this (completely unauthorized and uncredited) use of the Mumps "English Version" photo! Waterloo Sunset indeed!

  • 11 April 2007:

    A brief aside for a fun-filled history lesson - Check out Photographer/renaissance man Steve Lombardi's fun gallery of New York Rocker pix from the goooooooolden era of yore, including Lance Loud, Kristian solo and in the Swinging Madisons, great pictures of Kristian's friends Jayne County, Paul Zone, the Student Teachers, Tish and Snooky, and the Go-Gos! Click onto the N Y Rocker page of his website.

    Also, check out the Los Angeles Times coverage of the Long Gone John going away party at Spaceland. Long Gone John, who championed the Mumps with the release of "How I Saved The World" on his wonderful label, Sympathy For The Record Industry, is moving to a wooded island somewhere in the Pacifc Northwest - so loads of his friends showed up and gave him a poignant but fun-tastic farewell. Kristian sang with Candypants and is quoted, ever so briefly, in the article.

  • 9 April 2007:

    Kristian plays (and sings!) with Ann Magnuson for two nights at the fabulous Steve Allen Theater in Los Angeles! Go to the Gigs Page for exciting details!

  • 28 February 2007:

    A review of the Ann Magnuson album Pretty Songs & Ugly Stories on the press page.

  • 6 February 2007:

    Now available: Ann Magnuson's new album Pretty Songs & Ugly Stories produced and arranged by Kristian, who also writes songs and plays on the record. Details at the Recordings page.


  • 18 September 2005: Kristian will appear on Q Television Network on Sept. 22. Details at the gigs page. Also a few more upcoming appearances have been posted.

  • 13 September 2005: Some new concert dates at the gigs page.

  • 4 August 2005: Some new concert dates at the gigs page including Friday, August 5 -- the last show ever at Bricktops, which is closing due to a change in ownership.

  • 30 July 2005: New diary entry about all kinds of things including Mumps, Nomi, and lots of other topics.

  • 29 July 2005: Some new gigs listed, including a genuine Kristian Hoffman and The Rock Gods show slated for August 11. Details at the Gigs page.

  • 9 July 2005: Updated the Links page with links to Mumps and Carolyn Edwards websites.

  • 6 July 2005: Now available! The new Mumps CD with DVD, How I Saved the World. Visit the Mumps Record Store for ordering information. The CD/DVD twofer is available from the record company, Sympathy for the Record Industry, and many on-line retailers. Also available: a pink vinyl 45 of "Crocodile Tears/Waiting for the World to Catch Up."

  • 6 July 2005: Added a bunch of vintage Swinging Madisons and Bleaker Street Incident press to the Press page.

  • 7 June 2005: Some new gigs listed, including the record release party for Mumps How I Saved the World on June 30. Details at the Gigs page.

  • 26 May 2005: Well, it's about time -- Mumps finally have their own website! Go pay a visit -- no need to knock! You can find it at http://www.mumpsmusic.com.

  • 15 April 2005: Kristian will back up Carolyn Edwards and Abby Travis in their respective sets at Mata Hari on April 20 and will sing two of his own songs -- details at the Gigs page.

  • 12 April 2005: The current issue of Tabu Magazine has a feature on Kristian's art work. Details on the News page.

  • 3 April 2005: Added some vintage snapshots that Kristian took of the N.Y. Dolls way back in the day to a 2004 diary entry about the Dolls' current tour. Here they are.

  • 3 April 2005: Click here for some interesting ruminations on Kristian's history with James White and the Blacks.

  • 2 April 2005: Coming soon -- a new Mumps CD compilation called Mumps - How I Saved the World, with accompanying DVD. Details at the News page.

  • 2 April 2005: New diary entries on the Nomi Song premiere at the Nuart Theatre and other lively discussions.

  • 2 April 2005: Updates on the News page and the Gigs page.

  • 2 April 2005: A picture of Kristian with the Contortions on the Mumps & Antiquities page. (Scroll -- it's about halfway down).

  • 9 March 2005: 2004 End of Year Round-up on the Diaries page.

  • 18 February 2005: Some further dates for The Nomi Song and some Kristian live performances, to the Gigs page

  • 30 January 2005: Added some fascinating and revealing vintage Mumps press clippings, to the Press Page.

  • 11 January 2005: Kristian will introduce the Nomi Song at its L.A. premiere on Feb. 4; details at the Gigs page

  • 8 January 2005: Diary entry about the Nomi Song premiere.
    On the Gigs page information about the Klaus Nomi movie theatrical release and some details on KH's Jan. 20 gig;
    a new CD (New York Rocks, compilation on the Koch label of NYC punk-era songs)added to the Recordings Page;
    a photo credit added to the Swinging Madisons Pictures Page (sorry, Eric!); amusing photo added to History page.

HERE IS THE WHAT'S NEW ARCHIVE: whatsnewarchive.htm
otherwise known as what's not new anymore